People are baffled. They don't even know yet that I'm expecting a fifth and they look at my ducks in a row and ask, "are they all yours?!" Sometimes I catch them looking and shaking their head, not necessarily in a disrespectful way, just in an astonished way, as I walk into the store with four in tow. I smile. I am blessed. I wouldn't have it any other way. And this is what baffles people. Why?

These kids make me laugh. They bring so much joy. The way Crew scrunches his nose and furrows his eyebrows while talking gibberish that I honestly have no idea what it actually means. The way that Pear is so entranced at ballet, watching herself dance in the mirror while making funny faces and doing her own little jig while everyone else is following the teacher. The way that Pike incessantly talks in his loudest volume (his only volume,) about anything and everything. The way that Jovie says "mom, watch this!" and proceeds to jump or do some silly little thing that in her mind is an amazing act. And I applaud in awe while holding back a chuckle. It's the little things that bring me joy.

And then there are the crazy instances where I walk into the grocery store, plant the boys in the ginormous race car shopping cart and before we even get through the door, my flip-flop breaks. So off I hobble, one shoe on, one shoe off to find a new pair of flip-flops while my boys are racing and Pike is talking about my broken flip-flop in his only volume. It's these humbling moments that make me laugh.