Monday, November 8, 2010

Breathe.

Wow. What a trying couple of hours, days, weeks...months! My life is crazy. It really is. You may think, "Oh, she's just saying that." But let me assure you, it is sheer chaos! In-between the tantrums, the fits, the sleepless nights, the hitting, the bumps and bruises, the messes and the crying I see glimpses of laughter and joy and love. It's the glimpses that keep me going. Okay, maybe it's not that bad but today really was.

I'm being frank and honest here. Sometimes I don't know why or how I get into these messes. Sometimes I don't know how I'm going to make it through. Actually, I do. Every time I feel this way I realize that I can't do it. I can't train my kids on my own. I can't give them all of the love, calm all of the fits or keep going after those sleepless nights on my own. And that is why I have days like this. That is why I'm in this mess. I forget on whom I depend. If only this little bird brain of mine would remember and comprehend the God I serve!

So, I'm laying it on the table, these are the things I'm asking God to help me with:
  • I want Pear to have a heart that desires to be kind to others and to her siblings. I want her to find joy in sharing and helping others.
  • I need Pear to calm down and not throw fits in the parking lot because it's cold outside or in the store because Jovie's leg accidentally touched her.
  • I want Jovie to desire to honor her mommy and daddy and obey.
  • I need patience. I need patience. I need patience.
  • I want to exemplify joy and thankfulness to my family in a way that is contagious.
  • I need help training my kids to be thankful and not whine or complain when asked to eat their dinner, or help pick up their toys.
  • I need direction in how to communicate and speak to my children in a way that helps them understand and that touches their hearts.
Now, thankfully "Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Here's to a new day, full of the glimpses of joy, dependant on God, washed in Christ's mercies!

4 comments:

The Gardner Family said...

Good for you for being honest! Mom's can't make it without Jesus thats the plain and simple truth! Jesus give us strength, wisdom and patience as Moms and wives to be what you created us to be!!

Kamille Corrina said...

thank you Paige for sharing in those vulnerable moments, your fears turned to prayer. I'm touched as you list the various areas of your girls struggles, because I know those are good things to pray for & desire for them. To seek whatever is lovely, pure, noble, righteous...you are a wonderful mama leaning on Jesus and you're consistent. That consistency will pay off. And my guess is 20 years down the road as they have their own blog discussing mothering, they will say like Psalm 31, but my mom, "she excelled them all."

jacquelyn said...

I believe you about the chaos! (:
Also agree with the other comments above...
Dahlia is so much more stubborn than Valen. It can be so frustrating teaching them the same things everyday only to have her respond like it is the first time! Don't get discouraged, you have such a beautiful heart.
May God give you strength and patience and wisdom!

Laine said...

Thank you, Paige, for your genuine thoughts that provide such a great reminder and example for me!