People are baffled. They don't even know yet that I'm expecting a fifth and they look at my ducks in a row and ask, "are they all yours?!" Sometimes I catch them looking and shaking their head, not necessarily in a disrespectful way, just in an astonished way, as I walk into the store with four in tow. I smile. I am blessed. I wouldn't have it any other way. And this is what baffles people. Why?

These kids make me laugh. They bring so much joy. The way Crew scrunches his nose and furrows his eyebrows while talking gibberish that I honestly have no idea what it actually means. The way that Pear is so entranced at ballet, watching herself dance in the mirror while making funny faces and doing her own little jig while everyone else is following the teacher. The way that Pike incessantly talks in his loudest volume (his only volume,) about anything and everything. The way that Jovie says "mom, watch this!" and proceeds to jump or do some silly little thing that in her mind is an amazing act. And I applaud in awe while holding back a chuckle. It's the little things that bring me joy.

And then there are the crazy instances where I walk into the grocery store, plant the boys in the ginormous race car shopping cart and before we even get through the door, my flip-flop breaks. So off I hobble, one shoe on, one shoe off to find a new pair of flip-flops while my boys are racing and Pike is talking about my broken flip-flop in his only volume. It's these humbling moments that make me laugh. 

Why 5 kids are better

4 kids seems like a happy number. Especially considering we have 2 boys, and 2 girls. What more could I ask for? I mean, I have it made, I go to the store, people see me frantic and less than put together, I HAVE 4 KIDS, no excuses needed! I stay home for more than a month, I HAVE 4 KIDS, perfectly understandable. My house is a mess, I HAVE 4 KIDS, enough said. There is no middle child. 4 kids means we always have a party. I didn't get dinner on the table, again, I HAVE 4 KIDS, time for take-out!

Yet still, part of me thinks there are plenty of reasons why 5 kids might just be better than 4.

1. All of the above statements regarding having 4 kids, still ring true with 5

2. When the kids vote on things, there has got to be a tie-breaker, how else will we be able to decide whether to eat at McDonalds or Taco Bell? Or whether to watch Star Wars or Cinderella?

3. I have been blessed with 4 children. Each one has brought joy and laughter and each one has brought challenges which have caused me to learn and grow. I can't say that any one child has brought any depression or misery, (I'd be lying if I didn't say there have been moments of depression or misery but they all fade in comparison to the joys.) If each child can bring so much joy and cause my heart to get that much bigger and cause me to grow that much more, why would I NOT want such a blessing?

4. Our 7 passenger van is crying out to be filled, there is 1 seat left, who will claim it?

5. I truly think it is a gift, especially for a girl, to have a baby sibling when she is between the age of 5-10. I have 2 girls in that age range. Think about it, a real live baby doll, that smells good, coddles and coos, you can dress and most of all, you have a love and bond that you will never out-grow.

6. I am already doing all of the work, (cooking, cleaning, schooling, wiping bums,) what's 1 more?

7. Imagine spending Christmas with 1 or 2 kids, well, with 5 kids it is that much more fun! And when they are grown, you are bound to always have at least a couple of them home for the holidays and when they all gather, party on!

8. When there are more kids, there are more messes and more needs which in turn leads to kids being guided into helping the family out and becoming less selfish. It's a given. (And yes, I feel this is a good thing.)

9. What a joy to be able to share God's love with another soul.

10. If God forms a baby in my inmost being and chooses a destiny for him/her, who am I to say he picked the wrong mother?

All of this leads me to say, #5 is on the way and I couldn't be more thrilled!

Just a few thoughts on life lately

We are nearing the end of another summer. I feel more in love and blessed than ever before. Stephen and I celebrated 9 years of marriage by eating and shopping our hearts out in Portland. It was great fun and so refreshing. When I walk the streets holding his hand I feel like a million bucks! I wouldn't trade his hand for anyone else's! When we step back and put all comparison, judgement and perfection aside and simply love and adore, have fun and work hard together, it makes for a happy life.

I may be biased but I truly think I have the most adorable kids in the universe. If only I got a dollar every time I heard that at the grocery store, (along with the "you've got your hands full" comment...it must be one or the other, they are either beautiful kids or a handful.) I'd be rich. I feel almost as much like a million bucks walking with my little ducklings as I do when I hold the hand of my handsome man. I love that the kids have fun when we all hold hands together walking into a store, (which makes a decent sized chain,) and they giggle their way onto the sidewalk. This is living. And I am blessed.


Parenting is hard at times. As is marriage. And I have days often enough that I can't wait to go to bed simply to start fresh the next day and hope that it doesn't have as much turbulence as the day before.

We will be starting school next week. I am so excited! The kids are excited as well. I only hope I can figure out a way to keep the boys busy in order to engage with the girls and encourage and excite them in their journey to learn. My goal as a homeshooling mama is not necessarily to make extremely smart kids. My goal is to instill good morals and character and to make learning fun and exciting.

My baby is one!

Crew turned one.Actually, it's been a whole month since he turned one. I've sat down to write something several times but I usually get interrupted. I could write about what a crazy year it's been, how sleep deprived I am, or how fast the time's gone by. But, if I have only a short bit to log my boy's first year, I want to log the moments I wish to savor.  

During your first weeks, I held you as much as I could. You were so cuddly and sweet. I knew you would be 1 year old soon enough and I wanted to treasure as many snuggles as I could. At night, you slept in your crib right next to my bed and usually wound up sleeping right next to me in my bed by 2am. I would sleep on my side and try to not move a muscle to not wake you up.

Your brother and sisters have been mesmerized by your cuteness. Every new little thing you do makes them giggle with delight. Your first smiles, first coos and first giggles had them rolling with laughter. Then came the clapping, dancing and food. The way you rock out in the car has Pike laughing so hard that I'm worried he is going to pee his pants!

I take you with me almost anytime I go anywhere. You have been spoiled in that respect. I don't mind much. I tell people that you are my most treasured accessory. I have an Ergo baby carrier that you are quite used to and when you were really little, even when it wasn't nap time, you'd fall right to sleep when I put you in it. Now you don't fall asleep in it, but you still like it.

You didn't really start eating food until about 8 months old. And even then you preferred "momma's special milk." You never had "baby food." You just had mashed up versions of whatever the big kids were eating. Your favorite things to eat are scrambled eggs or yogurt. Good choices. You are now 13 months old and no longer eat "momma's special milk." You like cow's milk but not much and you don't really like a bottle.

Crew, you are such a blessing! You have a sweet temperament and although you aren't overly friendly towards just anyone, you are to me, and I love that! You love your momma, and your momma loves you. Soon enough you'll realize that Mammy and Pappy and Grandma and Grandpa love you bunches too, then I'm sure you'll want to go see them like your brother and sisters do. You love your binky and blanky and I will often find you snuggling with them on the floor. Your gibberish is beyond cute and I try hard not to laugh but to answer back with logical answers as if I know exactly what you are saying. You are such a boy! You love shovels and trucks and balls. You try to be big and do what you see big brother doing. Your new trick is to say, "Wow!" anytime you see a tractor or an excavator.  


We celebrated your first birthday by having a personal sized cake and singing happy birthday with your favorite people, your family! I think it was just perfect. You are so loved and although I would like you to slow down, I can't wait to watch you grow. I love you baby dude!

You'we my bobo.

 

Ever since Pike was a little guy, one of our favorite books has been Hug, by Jez Alborough. There aren't many words to the book. Actually, only 3: hug, mommy and bobo. But that's part of what makes it so special. I narrate the story for him. It is about a little monkey who needs a hug. "Bobo" is a nickname that I have given Pike. No one else calls him that, only me. Today as we were on our way to the grocery store, just me and him, he said, "mommy, you'we my bobo." That made my day. Because to me, that means: I'm his match. I'm his mommy. He loves me. We have a special bond. He's my Bobo.

 He finds a mommy elephant and a baby elephant and they set out to help him find his mommy so that he can have a hug from his mommy.

 He cries for a hug as he's seen a mommy giraffe, lioness, hippo, snake and lizard all with their children playing and hugging but still hasn't found his mommy for his hug.

 Then his mommy shouts with excitement, "Bobo!" and runs toward him with open arms.

 The baby monkey runs to his mommy shouting, "mommy!"

 And they finally hug.

"Everybody loves each other! Everybody's hugging!"

Dude-isms

When Pike is dancing around, as though he CLEARLY has to go potty:
Me: "Pike, do you have to go potty?"
Pike: "No. Me just wocking out."

When Pike's eyes are slowly blinking in the back seat of the car:
Me: "Pike, are you sleepy?"
Pike: "Me not sweepy. Me just chiwin' wike a biwain"

When Pike farts:
Pike: "Me just tooted out my buns!"

An hour after breakfast, as though he's starving:
Pike: "What me can have!?"
Me: "A banana or some cheese?"
Pike: "Me not want banana, me want oange."

Every other second of the day:
Pike: "Play with me, mom?"
To which my response varies. 

marshmallow world in the winter

On December 18th we woke up to snow. A few inches even. Secretly I kind of hoped it would melt by daylight because I knew that if it didn't melt by daylight, I would have some kids wanting to go play in it. Playing in it is fun and good, it's the getting dressed to play in it, getting undressed after playing in it and the laundry that made wish it be gone. But alas, it didn't melt and I couldn't tell my kids they couldn't go out in it.

So, at 8 o'clock in the morning, I pulled down the box of winter gear. I dressed all of the kids in layers. I wrapped Jovie's cast. I dumped the dust out of the snow boots.

Pike insisted on wearing his favorite pants, the Superman pants I made for his Halloween costume. He had to wear girls' hand-me-down snow boots. And he picked out his hat of choice from the box. Jovie managed to get dressed in snow gear over her cast and I carried her out in the snow. Pear found her winter clothes and dressed herself with little help.

Once the kids were situated in the backyard, I came back inside to watch from the warmth of our home with Crew. I am so glad that the snow didn't melt. If it had melted, our morning would have been a typical morning. But instead, the kids made memories. They played in the snow and will now dream of the next time they get to play in the snow. Why do I worry about how much work life is at times. Why don't I just roll with it and enjoy?